Ex-Bayelsa State Governor Left Barely Enough Money in the State Purse for Successor (or Anyone Else for that Matter) to Attend Koko Concert

Posted on January 8, 2013 by

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N4,451 to be precise. No really we aren’t kidding. That’s how much Bayelsa State governor Seriake Dickson alleges that his predecessor Timipre Sylva left behind in Bayelsa State’s coffers. The Vanguard reports that Gov. Dickson while speaking in Abuja yesterday, delivered his financial scorecard for December 2012 (whatever that means), and gave an account of how his administration grew that amount when they took over in February 2012 to a portly N16 Billion. Talk about jerking the beanstalk!

Apparently, Sylva is the dude who allegedly had his 48 houses confiscated by the EFCC. Of course he promptly denied this because the outcry from 100 million people was uber cray cray. People all over the country were like, “48? Why couldn’t you own in multiples of 10 like a bawse who can count?”

Sylva, as expected, has responded. You can’t go about saying a brother left only cab-fare from Ajah to Badagry for an entire state and expect him not to talk back. Sylva’s spokesman Dofie Ola (Bayelsan names are weird. There, I said it) replied that it was not possible for Dickson to have inherited any money from Timipre’s administration because the ex-governor handed over to the speaker of the House of Assembly who in turn handed over to the current dude. Therefore, all queries should be directed towards Mr. Nestor Binabo, the Speaker. Not Sylva. Yeah. Just blame the chubby guy with the gavel. Neat.

Currently, the EFCC are trying to fry Sylva’s hiney. IF Sylva is in fact guilty, we wish the EFCC more vegetable oil.

On a side note, what material is the state’s purse made of? I’m guessing Serena’s booty. Because EVERYBODY wants to tap that!

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Posted in: News, Politics